Ice crackles as bold-amber coffee pours to its commencement of morning.
Croissant crumbs bounce from the croissant of my choosing to a ceramic plate of white. The million-dollar question remains as to which I chose (always almond, always love).
My last few posts have been along somewhat heavier topics for me to write, so I desired a lighter subject today.
The tunes of nature — zestful bird and soft winds — help me so.
A few days ago, I had a setback, as my medication to help with my mental and emotional stability became the enemy from the opposing side; nothing out of the ordinary, though, as my body adjusts to its foreign compounds.
Thereafter (yesterday), I had one of those days where I completely detached from life itself, where everything felt as a dream, and I filled of emotional paralysis.
Since then, I was desperate to feel something, anything…alive was a great place to start.
Do things that feed your soul, not your ego. — Unknown
I work at a bakery, and usually, when I work in the back, the people in control of the music choose screamo and heavy metal; mind you, our day starts early.
How desserts, early mornings, and rock music pair together is beyond me.
Aside from having a job that demands swiftness, this music piles on top of my angst when at work.
The other day, I was welcomed to work with a surprise: a mix of the most popular 80’s songs that are often found in movies.
I felt as if walking on a cloud as I lost myself in uplifting melodies.
I had one of those workdays where your attention is highjacked into overdrive-focus, and a sense of accomplishment rushes through your veins at the end of the day.
The morning I awoke grey and bland, I made a playlist with similar songs, all of which helped in the morning, but soon waned as I went to work — holding superficial conversations are exhausting.
When I took some time outside to read and journal in the afternoon, disinterest settled within.
I sat there, faced with an abundance of magic before me — sunlight kissing flower petals, hungry birds awaiting seed within the feeder, and a chaotic wind dancing throughout the trees — but nothing seemed to awaken my soul as it does on most days.
Back within my sanctuary, my window open, the birds lulled me to sleep.
When I awoke once more, I felt as if a layer of this numbed barrier was peeled away.
I went for a drive.
The wind eagerly welcomed my newly awakened skin through the opened car windows as I named the colors of the sunset — rose, lavender, gold…
Lately, I feel as if on a constant buzz.
What I forgot, though, is to remember to take time for things I love…things that make me feel alive, and of course, rest.
In doing so, I was merely surviving and found the life draining from me all together.
This morning, I put together a breakfast trey, packed a bag consisting of my computer, a pen, and a notebook and took my “desk” mobile…to my backyard.
In all honesty, writing at my “real” desk makes me so tired. The second I sit down to write, a wave of lethargy creeps over me; it never fails.
I originally opted for a cafe to maintain focus and awaken my senses even more so, but unfortunately, the budget doesn’t allow it this week.
I’m quitting my job next week, and in three weeks will decide what to do with my life this summer, which does not involve me staying in Arizona.
Oh, how I’ve missed spontaneity and innovation.
Lately, I’ve been enjoying the book, Slow, by Brooke McAlary.
It’s a book of how to let go of the trivial things in our lives to make room for things that actually matter to us.
I’ve read another similar to this, which, I must say…they are both very similar.
They both speak on material items, social media, and meditation, but I’m curious if there is a book to help you set free the trivialities within.
I understand that our external environment is a catalyst for our ongoing behavior, but what about the environment within and of the self? The thoughts we continuously engage with, the closed-off perception we remain seeing the world through, the way we carry ourselves, and so on.
For example, I have a strange habit of scrunching up my shoulders.
I’ll literally be reading with my shoulders up to my ears.
Or even just standing there, and my shoulders are up!
I read that this stems from anxiety and I’m “resting” in fight or flight mode.
Once I started to notice it more, I would loosen them up any time I’d catch them creeping towards the sky.
Since then, I’ve felt more at ease and that my thoughts are more contained when doing so…something that getting rid of all of my cluttered material things wouldn’t entirely allow me to feel.
I still have a handful of pages left in Slow, so fingers crossed I can come across some more “mental minimalism” than just meditation.
Completely normal transition here, but another thing on my mind lately is the amount of garlic used in the U.S…it’s preposterous, and frankly, I feel forgotten of!
It’s rare to find a Caesar dressing without garlic, onions, or anything along this family of food.
Mind you, my stomach truly thinks garlic is a poison.
I was so excited to find a Caesar dressing one day that was A) Garlic free and B) made from Greek yogurt!
My mistake was not purchasing it the day I found it…weeks later when I went to purchase it, the bottle said, “New and Improved Taste!” with, yup, you guessed it...garlic and onions.
Last month, I had a stomachache every day for two weeks…and it wasn’t until I saw that one of the ingredients in my crackers was onion powder.
I don’t eat onion powder, so I wasn’t too familiar with the taste at first bite, or second, third, fourth…
Did I like it? No…but I felt obligated to eat the crackers before knowing this.
I’ve been starting to look at ingredient lists more before purchasing a food item because of this corrupt line of food, and let me tell you, it’s in a lot!
When I was travelling throughout Europe last summer, I didn’t run into any food that contained garlic, onions, etc.
Not even in Italy!
If you go to Olive Garden, the whole menu is featured with garlic! The audacity!
I’m begging…whoever is in charge of food in the U.S., please make special foods not only catered to people allergic to gluten and dairy, but also garlic!
Until then, I’ll be making a majority of my dressings, snacks, and all else from scratch.
For those of you with sensitive stummies similar to mine, I’ve been eating mint yogurt lately and it’s helped greatly!
On the lighter side of the spectrum on the topic of food, I’ve really been in love with baby carrots and ranch; it’s so simple, yet delicious!
I saw a quick snack recipe on Pinterest that I wanted to try: air fried baby carrots with ranch seasoning.
With the days finally starting to warm up, though, I wanted something cold to eat — raw carrots and ranch it was. I’ve always had a deep romance with ranch (sometimes I truly think about sticking a straw in the bottle and drinking it), but paired with carrots, it changed everything…it’s fairly close to fries and ranch.
As I see it, they’re both veggies!
And I just feel better eating carrots in place of fries, but they have to drown in the ranch!
For lunch and dinner, I’ve always loved a good burrito bowl — sweet potatoes, some greens, black beans, cauliflower rice, etc., etc.
But never has it occurred to me to make a breakfast burrito bowl, until recently.
The yolk from the fried egg spilling to the diced sweet potatoes, avocado, and spinach…whew!
And don’t even get me started on scrambled eggs with turkey!
Whatever you do today and how ever you feel today, whether that be completely drained, numb, or hungry, make sure to feed your soul, as well as give yourself time to rest…you deserve it!